Preventing child abuse in South Lake Tahoe starts with one conversation, knowing the signs

SOUTH LAKE TAHOE, Calif. - While April is Child Abuse Prevention Awareness Month, being aware of what child abuse is, what to look for, and how to help is a year-round issue and the happiness of children depends on everyone.

The pinwheel has been the national symbol for child abuse prevention since 2008. The pinwheel connotes playfulness, joy, and childhood and has come to serve as a physical reminder of the great childhoods we want for children.

Live Violence Free (LVF), located at 2941 Lake Tahoe Blvd. in South Lake Tahoe, has pinwheels placed on its front lawn each April as a reminder that not all children are experiencing that joy, and instead are experiencing some form of abuse.

In El Dorado County there were 2,365 reports of child abuse and/or neglect made to El Dorado County Child Protective Services in 2021, of which 226 were investigated and found to be substantiated.

Those numbers could be low though because, due to the pandemic, there were fewer interactions between those who are mandated reporters of abuse (like teachers, counselors, law enforcement, coaches, childcare providers) and children.

"Our phones were quiet," said Chelcee Thomas, the executive director of LVF.

Thomas said youth attending school remotely was worrisome as the kids are not around mandated reporters.

"How much went unreported?" asks Thomas.

She said their other partners in the community said they too had fewer calls than what had become normal pre-pandemic. But they know that abuse didn't just stop because of both COVID and the Caldor Fire and their numbers went up after people returned from evacuation and kids returned to school.

LVF was started as the South Lake Tahoe Women’s Center in 1977 and was opened by a handful of volunteers to provide a rape crisis hotline. They offer shelter, counseling, housing assistance, legal support, and advocacy for victims of domestic violence, sexual assault, and child abuse.

By definition, child abuse is when a parent or caregiver, whether through action or failing to act, causes injury, death, emotional harm, neglect, or risk of serious harm to a child.

There are ways the community can help prevent child abuse with a few simple tools. The community can be equipped with knowledge by knowing the signs and knowing how to talk to children (see the list below).

Risk factors of child abuse are higher in South Lake Tahoe than in the state of California, and about on par with the rest of the country. Poor mental health, housing insecurity, intimate partner violence, and substance abuse are all the risk factors seen locally at high rates.

LVF has a prevention educator at each South Tahoe Middle and South Tahoe High schools, and they provide programming at all area elementary schools.

The agency started One Conversation in 2020. It was created to let everyone know what signs to look for in someone experiencing abuse (both children and adults) and how that "One Conversation" could change a life. So far 900 locals have committed to being a "South Lake Tahoe Champion" through that program.

"The goal is to have all of South Lake Tahoe a champion," said Thomas.

The following is from LVF One Conversation:

CHILD ABUSE

Child Abuse: Physical Abuse
Physical abuse may include: striking, kicking, burning, biting, hair pulling, choking, throwing, shoving, whipping or any other action that injures a child. Even if the caregiver didn’t mean to cause injury when the child is injured it is abuse.

Child Abuse: Sexual Abuse
Sexual abuse of children may include: non-contact abuse including making a child view a sex act, making a child view or show sex organs, and inappropriate sexual talk; contact abuse including fondling and oral sex, penetration, and making children perform a sex act; or commercial sexual exploitation of children including child prostitution and child pornography.

Child Abuse: Emotional Abuse
Emotional abuse may include: rejecting/ignoring the child, telling them they are unwanted/unloved, showing little interest, not initiating/returning affection, not listening to them, not validating their feelings, breaking promises, cutting them off in conversation, shaming/humiliating, terrorizing with threats, setting up for failure, manipulating, taking advantage of their weakness/reliance on adults, slandering, screaming, yelling, isolating them, confining to a small area, forbidding play, or corrupting them by encouraging criminal acts, lying to justify actions, and encouraging misbehavior.

Child Abuse: Neglect
This form of abuse is when a parent or caregiver does not give the care, supervision, affection, and support needed for a child’s health, safety, and well-being.

SIGNS OF ABUSE

Child Physical Abuse
Any injury to a child who is not crawling yet
Visible and severe injuries
Injuries at different stages of healing
Unexplained injuries or explained in a way that doesn’t make sense
Wears long sleeves out of season
Aggression toward peers, pets, other animals
Violent themes in fantasy, art, etc.
Seems afraid of parents or other adults
Fear, withdrawal, depression, anxiety
Nightmares, insomnia
Immaturity, acting out, emotional and behavior extremes
Self-destructive behavior or attitudes
Report injuries or severe discipline

Child Sexual Abuse
Difficulty sitting, walking, or bowel problems
Bleeding, bruises, pain, swelling, itching of genital area
Frequent urinary tract infections or yeast infections
Any sexually transmitted disease or related symptoms
Doesn’t want to change clothes (i.e., for P.E.)
Withdrawn, depressed, anxious
Eating disorders, preoccupation with body
Aggression, delinquency, poor peer relationships
Poor self-image, poor self-care, lack of confidence
Sudden absenteeism, decline in school performance
Substance abuse, running away, recklessness, suicide attempts
Sleep disturbance, fear of bedtime, nightmares, bed wetting
Sexual acting out, excessive masturbation
Sexual behavior or knowledge that is advanced or unusual
Reports sexual abuse

Child Emotional Abuse
Developmental delays
Wetting the bed or pants
Speech disorders
Health problems like ulcers or skin disorders
Obesity and weight fluctuation
Habits like sucking, biting, rocking
Overly compliant or defensive
Extreme emotions like aggression or withdrawal
Anxieties, phobias, or sleep disorders
Destructive or anti-social behaviors
Behavior that is inappropriate for age (too adult or too infantile)
Suicidal thoughts and behaviors

Child Neglect
Clothing that is the wrong size, in disrepair, dirty, or not right for the weather
Often hungry, stockpiles food, seeks food, and may even show signs of malnutrition
Very low body weight & height for age
Often tired, sleepy, listless
Hygiene problems; body odor
Talks about caring for younger siblings and not having a caregiver at home
Untreated medical and dental problems, incomplete immunizations
Truant, frequently incomplete homework, frequently changes schools

How to talk with a potential victim of child abuse:

T.A.L.K
When someone listens to and believes a survivor, it can make a world of difference for them. Taking a survivor-centered approach empowers survivors by prioritizing their needs and wants.

T = Thank them for telling you
A = Ask how you can help
L = Listen without judgment
K = Keep supporting

Never Victim Blame
Abuse is never the victim’s fault. Believe, support, and trust survivors. Place the responsibility on abusers and perpetrators to end the abuse. Trust their perspective. Listen! Ask survivors what they need to individually be safe.

For more information on what to do, what to look for, and how to be a #OneCoversation champion, visit https://liveviolencefree.org/oneconversation/.