Column: The tragic case of Gabby Petito and the intricacies of domestic violence
Submitted by paula on Thu, 09/23/2021 - 10:13pm
SOUTH LAKE TAHOE, Calif. - While we will ultimately learn the facts of the
disappearance and death of Gabby Petito, this tragic case sparks an important conversation about the intricacies of domestic violence, the power dynamics involved, stereotypes of victims, how we can understand the potential signs of domestic violence, and the best ways to support survivors.
Gabby Petito disappeared during a cross-country road trip with her partner, Brian Laundrie. Petito's death was confirmed this week after an autopsy was performed on a body found in Wyoming. While this devastating case has garnered national media attention, it also pushes a conversation to understand the broader dynamics of violence against women. Before Petito's death, a 911 call and bodycam footage from police show how the perceptions and understandings surrounding violence and abuse impact how we address this social problem.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, one in three women has experienced intimate partner violence. Over half of female homicide victims in the U.S. are killed by a current or former male intimate partner. Further, indigenous women experience the highest rates of domestic violence and homicide. Between 2011-2020, 710 Indigenous people, primarily girls, and women were reported missing in Wyoming. Rather than look at this case as an isolated incident, we can look at the broader implications of this case. It is imperative for us to delve into what precisely domestic violence is. Knowing the signs of domestic violence and understanding the intricacies of abuser power dynamics helps us to better support those victimized by domestic violence.
Domestic violence is a pattern of coercive, controlling behavior. Some abusers can exert complete control over a victim's every action without ever using violence or only using subtle threats of violence. As a result, domestic violence cases are not always overt instances of physical abuse like hitting or punching. Instead, a partner may use coercion, threats, intimidation, isolation, emotional, sexual, economic, and other forms of abuse to control and change the other partner's behavior.
The information released from police, including the bodycam footage, shows many signs of an abuser and a victim. In the footage, we see Laundrie laughing and joking with the officers. On the other hand, Petito is heard blaming herself and outwardly scared. What the footage shows are the warning signs of abuse, gaslighting, and coercive control.
Rather than assuming who is the aggressor and relying on harmful stereotypes, we can learn the signs of abuse and ways to allow someone space to safely talk. There are many signs that someone is experiencing domestic violence. A survivor may show personality changes or are overly worried about pleasing their partner. They may have excuses for injuries, constantly check in with their partner, or disconnect themselves from work, school or family. It is also important to note that there are instances where violence is used by both partners in a relationship. There is usually a primary aggressor in these instances, although it may not always be clear what is actually happening in a relationship. We must not assume or let stereotypes impact our perception of a situation. When someone believes
a survivor, we can empower them by giving them the space to share their story, support them where they are at, and give them the power back. We acknowledge their story, ask how we can help, listen without judgment and keep supporting them.
At Live Violence Free, we believe that one conversation can change a life. An essential part of our work is educating and spreading awareness about domestic violence, sexual assault, and child abuse. By building a more informed community, we can get closer to a violence-free community. As a community, we must educate ourselves and others about domestic violence, sexual assault, and child abuse. Join our One Conversation campaign to learn more about the signs to look for in someone experiencing violence and abuse and ways to support them. Become a one conversation champion today. Please go to www.liveviolencefree.org/oneconversation.
We invite everyone in the community to get involved and support our mission by volunteering, donating, and educating yourselves and others. Together we can empower choices and inspire change.