Joan Cupaiuolo, a resident of South Lake Tahoe, Calif., died on April 1, 2025, while snowbirding in Palm Desert. She was 81; the cause was complications from multiple myeloma.
A native New Yorker, Joan graduated from Hunter College in the Bronx in 1965 and began a 40-year career in social services, first as a case worker for the New York City Department of Welfare. She was devoted to her clients and ensured they not only received the benefits they were entitled to but also had gifts for their children to open on birthdays and holidays.
Joan was born Sept. 15, 1943, the daughter of Anne (Coffey) and Henry Borchers. At age 16, she met her spouse of almost 58 years, Anthony (Tony) Cupaiuolo, at a high school dance. Considering they attended school in different neighborhoods, Tony still marvels that they met, she agreed to go steady, and seven years later, after graduating from college, they married. The couple later moved to Westchester County, N.Y., where they raised two children.
Joan remained committed to serving those in need as the ombudsman and director of volunteers at Schervier Rehabilitation and Nursing Center, as a social worker for VNS Health, and as a group home supervisor for The Arc Westchester and Abbott House. In 1985, she earned a master’s degree in public administration from Pace University, where her husband taught for many years.
Upon “retirement,” Joan served as the director of volunteers at Hildene, the former summer home of Robert Todd Lincoln, in Manchester Center, Vt. While in Vermont, and later in Florida and California, Joan supported her husband’s late-in-life calling to be a competitive runner, attending every race to ensure he was still standing at the finish line.
Joan spent the past decade living full-time in South Lake Tahoe, thrilled to watch her granddaughter grow and to share “happy hour” each afternoon — a half-hour of TV and conversation about their day. Together, they conspired to prevent “pop-pop” from singing loudly and off-key. Joan was masterful at completing the New York Times crossword puzzle and followed both local news and national politics with great interest.
Joan was preceded in death by her parents, her younger brother, James (Jim), and her brother-in-law, Frank. In addition to her husband, she is survived by her daughter, Christine, and her spouse, Bernie; her son, Anthony, and his spouse, Karen, and their daughter, Olivia; and her much-loved cousins, sister-in-law, and nieces, along with their children.
She will also be missed by multiple granddogs who depended on her to dispense a generous amount of treats.
The family will hold a private celebration of Joan’s life this summer. While Joan loved the beauty of flowers, she would be disappointed if her family did not encourage donations in her name to social service organizations facing budget cuts, especially those supporting the poor, senior citizens, and children in foster care.
