October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. You will see a lot of purple from us this month. You will hear us talk about domestic violence, healthy relationships, warning signs and prevention. But we also want to make something unmistakably clear:

If you are a survivor of sexual assault, Vista Rise Collective is still your agency, too.

We are here for you. Not just during Sexual Assault Awareness Month (April), not only if the assault happened within an abusive relationship, and not only if you reported it to law enforcement.

Every day of the year, Vista Rise Collective serves survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault throughout South Lake Tahoe and Alpine County. One thing this work teaches you quickly is that harm does not come in neat categories.

Neither do survivors.

Many survivors have experienced both domestic violence and sexual assault. Some know exactly how they would describe what happened, and others aren’t sure what to call it at all… they just know something happened that was not okay.

That instance, the not knowing, is enough to call us.

Recently, stories involving sexual assault have again appeared in headlines, including allegations connected to college campuses. For survivors, those stories can bring difficult experiences rushing back. But you do not have to be a survivor to be deeply affected by these stories.

Stories of sexual violence can provoke anger, grief, fear and a profound sense of injustice. It is human to care when we hear someone may have been harmed. It is human to want accountability.

Those feelings can exist alongside our responsibility to allow cases moving through the legal system to follow their appropriate process. We do not have to decide the facts of an individual case from a headline to recognize what these conversations stir in our community.

Because headlines come and go, but survivors do not.

Survivors are not strangers. They are our neighbors, coworkers, friends, students and family members. They sit beside us at soccer games and stand behind us at the grocery store.

Living in a small community creates connection. It can also make asking for help complicated. When people know one another, privacy and trust are vital. At Vista Rise, you can ask for help without giving up control of what happens next. You do not need a police report, evidence or the perfect words to call us. You do not need to know whether you want to report or whether you are ready to leave.

If you’ve been harmed, it was not your fault.

Not because of what you wore, drank, or said. Not because you froze. Not because you stayed or went back. Not because of how long it took you to tell someone. You do not have to prove any of that to us before we will help you.

Our job is not to take control of a survivor’s life after someone else has already taken control away from them.

Our job is to help give that control back.

If someone trusts you with their story, you don’t need to know exactly what to say.

Start with these three words:

I believe you.

Then listen.

Trauma does not owe us a perfectly chronological story, and survivors do not owe us a response that makes their experience easier to understand.

So yes, this October, you will see purple, and we will talk about domestic violence. But while we do, we want sexual assault survivors in our community to hear us just as clearly:

We see you. We believe you. We are here for you, too.

In October, and every other month of the year.

Vista Rise Collective’s confidential 24/7 crisis line: 530-544-4444.

-Samantha Abbott

Samantha Abbott is the Survivor Advocacy and Grant Compliance Coordinator at Vista Rise Collective, formerly Live Violence Free, serving survivors of domestic violence, sexual assault and child abuse in South Lake Tahoe and Alpine County.