Digital Drama Awareness Week in South Lake Tahoe: Is your child the cyber bully?

SOUTH LAKE TAHOE, Calif. - The South Lake Tahoe Police Department (SLTPD) is focusing on youth cyber-bullying this week during "Digital Drama Awareness Week" April 12-16, 2021.

For the first day we highlighting the definition of Digital Drama and Cyber Bullying. (See Here) and then we looked at the victim and steps they should take if found in this situation.

Today we look at the bully.

Perhaps sometimes you might send a message or write comments you think are harmless. Commenting on food, weight, clothes, appearance, or family is not a harmless or victimless issue - it can and does hurt people more than we know.

"You never know what else someone has on their plate, or what else someone might be going through," said SLTPD. "Not sure if something will be hurtful or not? Then DONT SAY IT! There is ALWAYS the option to keep scrolling and minding your own business."

Instagram has removed the number of "likes" from a person's visible profile but the feature remains on other social media sites. Many young people toss out the number of "friends" they have, even if they aren't real friends - people they know in person. There seems to be contests on the number of "friends" one has on social media and those with few are bullied and made fun of. We'll address this later this week, but some of those many "friends" could be adults posing as youth or other shady characters looking to exploit children.

The bully may stop if they know the parents of those they bully have access to their kid's electronics. At the least, let the bully know your parents do.

Stomp Out Bullying - End the Hate, Change the Culture shares sign your child may be a cyberbully:

- Has a history of bullying, or has been the target of bullying themselves
- Avoids conversations about computer and cell phone activities
- Uses multiple online accounts
- Switches screens or close programs when you, or others, are nearby
- Shows excessive use of the computer and/or cell phone
- Becomes overly upset if access to computers or cell phone is restricted or denied

As we wrote yesterday, kids being bullied can lead to suicide. Online bullying can be just as damaging as physical bullying. Kids with learning and thinking differences can be at higher risk for being bullied online. Cyberbullying can put your child at risk for anxiety and depression, and it can also make it difficult for your child to concentrate at school.

How to tell if a child is being bullied?

Your child may not tell you if he’s being cyberbullied, but there are signs you can watch out for:

He suddenly stops using the computer, even though he’s always enjoyed it before.
He doesn’t want to use the computer in a place where you can see it.
He turns off the computer monitor or changes screens every time you walk by.
He seems nervous or jumpy when he gets an instant message, text or email.
He alludes to bullying indirectly by saying something like “there’s a lot of drama at school” or “I have no friends.”
He doesn’t want to go to school or appears uneasy about going.
He becomes withdrawn.
You overhear insults, snarky remarks or sarcastic laughter while your child is online or texting.
He is spending time with friends who behave in ways that are mean or uncaring. Often, children engage in cyberbullying to fit in with a new peer group. They don't seem to care if their words or actions hurt others.

"If your friends are teasing you, making you feel bad, or encouraging you to hurt someone else, they aren't your friend," said SLTPD. "You'll find new ones [friends], who are kind and supportive of who you are as a person."

Suggest to your child that he let the bullies know you have access to his electronics: “I know this sounds crazy, but my parents are the administrators of this computer so they can see everything. I can’t control what they do.”

SLTPD School Resource Officer Jason Nixon spends a lot of his work day on bullies nd cyberbullies.

He said he tells the students to not dwell on the bullying, and to rise above it.

"Don’t dwell on the bullying if bullied," Nixon tells the kids. "Tt doesn’t have to bring you down. Those doing the bullying have issues and don’t let their issues affect you."

There are many resources for dealing with digital drama. https://www.stompoutbullying.org/
https://www.stopbullying.gov/
https://www.webroot.com/us/en/resources/tips-articles/my-child-is-a-cyberbully-what-do-i-do
https://www.publicsafety.gc.ca/cnt/ntnl-scrt/cbr-scrt/cbrbllng/prnts/chld-cbrbll-en.aspx

Soroptimists of Tahoe Sierra and South Tahoe Now teamed up with South Tahoe Middle School and SLTPD Campus Resource Officer Jason Nixon to hold a poster contest for students with the goal of highlighting Digital Drama among students and others their age. Each day this week one of those posters will be highlighted with the winning posters announced at the end of the month. The Soroptimists are awarding the winning poster creator $50, second place $25 and third prize $5 and SLTPD is giving the 4th place a $5 gift card.