Opinion: Everyone has a role in ending adolescent dating abuse

With the ever-changing and rapidly evolving technology around us, dating practices and expectations have changed. Nowadays, there are a myriad of communication mediums to balance including texting, sharing photos and videos, various social media apps, and actual face-to-face interactions. As a result, adolescents have adopted these enhanced dating expectations which shift signs of care and affection away from traditional Friday night movie date to a constant stream of selfies, texts, emojis, and virtual relationship statuses. Teen Dating Violence (TDV) is growing as fast as technology. It is time to join together and take responsibility for raising the conversation on appropriate, respectful dating practices to help prevent our young men and women from adopting abusive behaviors.

February is National Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month and this month Live Violence Free is partnering with South Tahoe High School to highlight dangerous dating trends and illuminate healthy skills. Aside from the role models set by mainstream media, adults are important models to our future generation who are learning to define love and equality. As adults, we need to prioritize using respectful language, transparent communication, and strive to develop under-standing and accountability in our interactions.

When adolescents are hurting or distracted by stressful, damaging dating experiences, they are unable to learn effectively in school and engage in positive extracurricular activities. The teenage years are an important part of identity development: exploring passions, career paths, and considering who they want to be, choosing to align with or reject from societal trends and norms. Unfortunately, it is more common than not for teens to be pressured into isolating into an intense dating relationship where the attachment binds them and it becomes easy to mistake love for possession of power and co-dependence. Encouraging individuality where feelings, needs, and time is respected should not be the exception or just "too good to be true.” Often times, when teaching prevention strategies in middle and high school classrooms, we are faced with the reality that teens have come to expect being treated less than they deserve.

How do we define what we deserve? It takes a giant leap of courage and confidence to stand up for the basic rights with which we treat our loved ones. So what are the behaviors we want to pass along to the next generation of relationships? Skills such as: expressing empathy, not with-holding communication, active listening to understand the other’s point of view, refrain from name calling in an argument, healthy independence from each other, not gossiping about your partner, and seeking help if the relationship reaches an abusive level.

This year, Live Violence Free is joining the state of California to extend the message that every community member can become a #PreventionStar, from educators and parents, to social justice allies and concerned citizens, to support teens as they learn the skills to build healthy relation-ships.

Use the #PreventionStar to show your support and connect with others to combat teen da-ting abuse. For questions or to learn more, please call us at 530.544.2118 or go to www.loveisrespect.org for further resources.

Hannah Greenstreet is the Prevention Program Manager for Live Violence Free in South Lake Tahoe.