Column: Falling in Love All Over Again
Submitted by Editor on Tue, 02/14/2012 - 8:44am
(Editor's note: Today begins a regular feature to South Tahoe Now by South Lake Tahoe-based Certified Wellness Coach and Advanced Integrative Therapist Krista Kline. Visit her website at www.kristaekline.com.)
So here it is. Valentine’s Day. A day of love and romance for some. A dreaded day of heartache and bitterness for others. Some of you may receive cards, flowers, a phone call from a friend, a nice romantic dinner or even a marriage proposal. Some of you will spend the day alone, avoiding the satin heart mayhem and gooey sentimental couples that inevitably come with the traditions of February 14th.
I would like to offer some thoughts and insights around this sometimes bittersweet holiday.
First and foremost, I want to make a disclaimer. Although I hold a Masters Degree in Clinical Psychology and am a Certified Wellness Coach, I do not claim to be an expert in love (or Valentine’s Day for that matter) any more than the next person. In years past, I have sat home on many a Valentine’s Day feeling sorry for myself as I polished off a box of chocolates that I bought from the local drug store while watching When Harry Met Sally for the hundredth time. I am also a little embarrassed to admit that I have also partaken in what are known as Anti-Valentine’s Day parties where a group of single friends get together to eat, drink and trash the commercial superficiality of Valentine’s Day (while secretly hoping we’d all get dates before the party). I just didn’t get it.
But I do now. I finally do.
Valentine’s Day is not simply a Hallmark holiday to guilt us into buying flowers, chocolate, jewelry and cards for our husbands/wives/lovers (though I’m certain many may disagree with me). It is a day to celebrate and acknowledge love. In some countries such as Finland, Valentine’s Day is translated to be “Friends Day”. In Latin American Countries, it is known as the “Day of Love and Friendship” where young and old participate in acts of appreciation for friends and family.
Therefore, I would like to propose something, especially to the many naysayers out there who have experienced loss and love-trauma. Embrace Valentine’s Day! All of it. Soak in the love. Participate. Today, fall in love with love. That’s right, you heard me. Fall in love. And I want to be clear about something. I don’t mean you should or need to fall in love with a romantic partner. I also don’t mean that you should drop everything and head to your local supermarket to pick up a stack of Valentine’s Day cards and a Whitman’s Sampler.
Instead, take a few moments to fall in love with something in your life.
Maybe it’s a supportive friend or family member. Maybe it’s a creative talent you have. Maybe it’s your pet. Maybe it’s the undeniable beauty of nature in Lake Tahoe. Maybe it’s just a vision or feeling of unconditional love. Allow yourself to really sit and feel the happiness, joy and connectedness that comes with pure love.
You may want to start by being good and kind to yourself and taking in all the things you’re grateful for. I would like to point out that beginning the day by saying, “you’re such a loser that you don’t have a date on Valentine’s Day” is not a good first step. Take a nice walk and get some air. Get a massage or take a nice hot bubble bath. Call a friend or a loved one you haven’t spoken to in a while. Laugh out loud. Make yourself a nice meal. Don’t wait for others to come to you. Get connected.
This Valentine’s Day, and every day thereafter, if you want to fall in love with your life, you must find a way to give love, speak with love, act with love, connect with your heart center and ask for love. Personally, I started by taking the necessary risks to love and accept myself so that I could be loved and accepted by others. It wasn’t easy, but it was definitely worth it. Now nearly everyday feels like Valentine’s Day as I celebrate the love I have with my family, my friends, my boyfriend and my animals…I am grateful beyond measure.
So, Happy Valentine’s Day! And as one of my favorite human beings Ellen Degeneres likes to say at the end of each show, “Be kind to one another”.
I would also like to add, be kind to yourself.
— Writer Krista Kline is a Certified Wellness Coach and Advanced Integrative Therapist. Her mission and passion is to assist individuals in realizing their goals and dreams by clearing away the obstacles that are keeping them stuck. Her unique combination of wellness coaching and AIT helps her clients increase self-esteem, improve relationships, reduce anxiety and fear, transform self-sabotaging beliefs and attain balance and peace. Call (530) 400-6670 now for a free consultation. Visit her website here.
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