Column: A Change Will Do You Good

(Editor's note: This is the third in a regular feature by South Lake Tahoe-based Certified Wellness Coach and Advanced Integrative Therapist Krista Kline. Visit her website at www.kristaekline.com.)

A few weeks ago, I wrote about the importance of creating a vision plan in order to begin getting what you want out of life. Just ONE thing you’d like to be different. Many people when faced with this task don’t know where to start because they get overwhelmed with thinking about ALL the things they want to change. Suddenly their eyes glaze over, their thoughts race in a thousand different directions, and frustration or helplessness sets in. Making changes just feels too difficult or even impossible to tackle.

While many of us are daunted by change (and even identifying what to change), I have found it necessary and beneficial to take frequent personal inventory to see where I can make improvements in my life. The reason is this. If I don’t take the initiative to make positive changes, changes have a way of happening to me whether I like them or not. And from experience, all I can say is that it’s usually better to be proactive in this area. Otherwise, we may find ourselves facing a major health crisis, spending years with the wrong person(s) or financially bankrupt (or GULP, perhaps all of the above!).

I mean honestly, do any of us like to look at what isn’t working in our lives? Do we enjoy digging up and scrutinizing the sometimes less than stellar decisions we’ve made in our past? Of course not. But the problem is if we ignore the reasons why our relationships aren’t working and our health is in the toilet, or if we evade the topics involving our financial predicament, they don’t actually stop being problematic. Quite the opposite. As we avoid the areas of our life that are dysfunctional, they have a tendency to get worse rather than better. And as a result, our self-esteem suffers, our overall health is compromised and our daily life may seem like an unfriendly merry-go-round that we just can’t seem to get off.

I have lived in fear more times than I’d like to admit. I have been terrified to make certain changes. I have held on for dear life to things in my life that weren’t working because I felt vulnerable. And as you can probably guess, this didn’t pan out very well for me. It wasn’t until I was broken and virtually forced to ask for help that I began to make significant changes in my own life…and I’m not done. Far from it. Like the rest of you, I am a work in progress. I continue to work on myself, to read books, to write things down, to analyze the areas of my life that haven’t worked for me, and most importantly to admit that I am not perfect. And boy am I grateful that I have stopped feeling like I need to be…it was exhausting!

Now I can join the rest of the human race, recognize my imperfections and do what I can to move daily towards balance and peace. This is not always an easy task! We are complex beings. But instead of being afraid, I now make the decision to get interested in the obstacles I’m facing. Now I know that I’m not alone in my human struggles. Now I am better able to shed light on the places in my life that haven’t been working and begin to figure out why and what I can do to change it. Wouldn’t that be a relief? Wouldn’t it be nice to know that your problems, your challenges, your obstacles, no matter how large you think they are, can be improved?

So let’s see if we can break this whole change thing down into edible bite size pieces for you. You can start by taking a look at your whole health and what I’ll call your major areas of wellness. This includes mental/emotional, physical, spiritual, social, fiscal and vocational wellness. You can then begin to look at which of these areas, one by one, need the most immediate care to not only stop the bleeding, but perhaps even begin the healing.

Over the next few weeks, I’ll begin providing you with some tools and strategies to start identifying and making changes in the areas of your life that need the most work.

This week however, I’d like to ask you, to implore you, to explore and face head on at least one area of your life that is challenging, difficult, or downright messed up. No matter how scary. No matter how far behind or “screwed up” you think you are. And you’ll be able to identify the area that needs help this way. When you think of your relationships with your friends, spouse or partner (or lack there of), does it make your heart hurt or even angry? When you talk about your job or financial status, does it make your stomach turn or do you want to cry? When you hear others talking about food, fitness or health, do you walk the other way or make jokes about it to cover up the shame or pain you feel? When you think about your future, do you become overwhelmed or paralyzed?

Don’t ignore these signs! Embrace them! And by all means, please be compassionate with yourself.

Don’t let your fear get in the way of improving your life. It is not too late. You can begin to change today.

Let’s work together to find out how.

Don’t waste another minute. Start today.

— Writer Krista Kline is a Certified Wellness Coach and Advanced Integrative Therapist. Her mission and passion is to assist individuals in realizing their goals and dreams by clearing away the obstacles that are keeping them stuck. Her unique combination of wellness coaching and AIT helps her clients increase self-esteem, improve relationships, reduce anxiety and fear, transform self-sabotaging beliefs and attain balance and peace. Call (530) 400-6670 now for a free consultation. Visit her website here.

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— Feb. 21, 2012 Column: Getting Clear on The Life You Want

— Feb. 14, 2012 Column: Falling in Love All Over Again